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Taking Charge of Anxiety: Focusing on What You Can Control

Updated: Oct 17

Person with worry, fear, anxiety, panic
Person with worry, fear, anxiety

Anxiety can feel like you’re holding on for dear life, but somehow, the ground keeps slipping away from up under you. There’s always a storm of “what ifs” and fear of the unknown. But what if we could reframe that anxious energy by focusing on what’s actually in our control?


Let’s imagine you’re holding two baskets—one in each hand. In the left, you’ve got a basket of things you can’t control, like how things will turn out, others’ perceptions of you, world events, or even tonight’s plans. In the right, you have a basket of what you can control: your routines, your actions, and how you choose to respond to your thoughts. Shifting some energy from that “can’t control” basket to the “can control” basket can make all the difference in managing anxiety.


Here’s a strategy to help redirect that energy:


Scenario: You’re feeling anxious.

  1. Notice the anxious feeling, then ask yourself: What exactly am I worried about?

  2. Is it hypothetical? If it’s not a current problem but rather a “what if,” accept it’s out of your control. Allow yourself to sit with the discomfort, use coping skills (deep breaths, grounding, etc.), and redirect energy to what you can manage.

  3. Is it actionable? If the worry is a current, tangible issue, create an action plan. Define what needs to happen, when, and how. Act on it, schedule it if needed, and feel reassured knowing you’ve taken a step. Then, let that worry go.



On top of that, creating daily routines or “anchor habits” gives your day structure and a sense of predictability. Adding calming elements to these routines, like breathwork or a few quiet minutes for yourself, helps ground your mind and body.


Redirecting your focus to what you can control won’t make anxiety disappear, but it can lighten the

load, giving you a stronger grip on your day.

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